A Second Opinion

Yesterday Ian, Anna and myself went to see a Mr Saddiqic privately at Springfield Hospital.  The reason for the appointment was to get a second opinion on my condition.  The meeting was very beneficial and it was good to get a different perspective on what is happening to me.  I was only able to give Mr Saddoqic the latest letter from my oncologist, Prof Tahir.  But Mr Saddiqic works with Prof Tahir and has in fact been party to discussions on my case in their multi-disiplinary meetings at Broomfield Hospital so was aware of my medical condition - which was good!  (In fact Anna and I recognise him from Broomfield.)

He started off by explaining that in fact my condition is a lot worse than I had been aware of!  It would appear that the CT scan only picks up tumours of a certain size.  It is obvious that I have a lot of tumours causing havoc with my colon but they are fairly small and so far have gone 'under the radar' of the scans.  When I was admitted to hospital in April this was due to a blockage in my small intenstine which has now been resolved.  But the tumours are causing disruption to the mechanics of my colon hence bad constipation, pain etc.  Added to this, adhesions from previous operations will also continue to cause blockages so I need to keep to a fairly liquid/soft diet.

On a postive note Mr Saddiqic said that he is surprised that I have in fact lasted as long as I have!  After the 2011 surgery to remove the tumour and then followed by the hysterectomy a year later, most people with my cancer would have died.  But I am still here - four years later!!  I was delighted to hear this.  It has allowed me to see my two wonderful daughters settled with their lovely families and to have this time with my three grandchildren.

I feel so blessed.  I am just so grateful for all that life holds for me.  I love my whole family and get so much love and support from them.  Here is a lovely photo of some of them on Mimi's birthday standing in front of the wisteria at the Mill.

We then went to Broomfield Hospital because we had an another appointment with the oncologist Prof Tahir - again to ask more questions.  Charlotte met us at the hospital with Grace and Hope and we told her what we had learnt from Mr Saddiqic.

There have been plenty of tears as we now realise from all our various meetings and discussions with different health professionals that the time has come to put my affairs in order.  Of course no-one can put a time limit on how much longer I've got.  A lady from Farleigh Hospice is coming to see me next week to talk through all that they have to offer in terms of practical and emotional support.  We have also been advised to apply for a blue badge for the car and also to apply for some financial help in terms of benefits.

So here I am.  Fully supported, feeling blessed and yet at the same time dealing, not only with the everyday practicalities of illness but also with the emotions of what it means to come to end of life and all the implications of that. I am so grateful to Ian who keeps me rooted with his calm and practical outlook on life.